In our new series, ‘Real Advice’, we’re asking real women who have been married or are engaged to be married, to give us their tips on different subjects, from love and relationships, to wedding dress shopping and how to be the best bridesmaid possible. Our latest instalment covers love & relationships by three brides who’ve been with their husbands for more than a decade.
It's all about heading in the same direction.
"We all know looks can't be the do or die of anything. People change, looks change, and we'll all age, change sizes or heights, etc.; bodies change. It's natural. So naturally, we all go for personalities and the connections we make mentally and emotionally, right? Well, I think that's the first step in finding the 'right one.' For longevity, there's one more layer you need to consider when you're dating: similar or parallel hobbies or things you love and enjoy. Let me explain;
If you LOVE the outdoors, nature, fishing, hiking, and exploring, and your partner hates the outdoors and just wants to be a homebody, it will eventually cause separation and distance. You don't need to do the exact same things, nor do you need to spend all of your time sharing your hobbies, but it helps if they can work in tandem. If you love fishing and he loves exploring? He can hike while you fish. If you love reading books and home and she loves playing video games? You can hang out reading while they play video games or hobbies you are both into, like going to the gym together, cooking together, playing video games together, or whatever floats your boat.
At the end of the day, you need to be into each other's personalities, but don't forget that you will spend the rest of your life with this person. Make sure that the things you enjoy will work for both of you!"
- Regina McVay
It's a culmination of all the little things that make up the big picture.
"I don't believe love is ever one big sweeping moment, and I think it's always something you notice in hindsight. Its dozens, hundreds, maybe even thousands of small moments build up over time to create the connection you'll share with 'the one.' It's a beautiful thing when you think about it. Once we find our soulmate, we get to incrementally increase the love and connection we share bit by bit, day by day, not realizing it until we gain hindsight after time has passed us by. That's my biggest piece of advice, live in the moment, and don't overthink the small details by chasing the big picture; you'll get there eventually.
- Shakti Chandranahan
Priorities and teamwork make the dream work.
"Love hard, love fearlessly, but most importantly of all, love unconditionally and make it your priority. You are individuals in your personalities and beings, but in public, you both make one united front, a team, a collaboration—don't let anything ever come before it.
Understand that you will need to make sacrifices for each other at different times for the sake of the team that you're both entering into as a partnership, but If you're both able to consistently prioritize 'us' over 'I' and 'we' over 'me,' there's nothing that can stop you!"
- Ginny Lane